friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Black Friday used to only be Robinson Crusoe's pal!

   Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already

   I know this is short notice, but does anyone have a bear costume I can borrow to scare the people camped outside Best Buy for Black Friday?

   Make sure to use the extra hour this weekend not changing anyone's mind about the election on Facebook.

   Extra hour of sleep this weekend. I mean, unless you're a parent. Then it's just like, more morning.

   "The Statue of Liberty just turned 130 last Friday. When France first gave her to us, it was the one time that France didn't retreat..

   Brace yourselves it's Harley Quinn weekend!

   If you’re in the woods this weekend and see a large man wearing a hockey mask don’t assume he’s a Wayne Gretzky fan.

   Geologists say the California earthquake will most likely happen this weekend due to earthquakes being too busy during the week.

   Which one of the Ten Commandments says: Thou Shalt Not Eat Meat On Friday?

   Hillary Clinton was Diagnosed on Friday with Highly Contagious Bacterial Pneumonia and has been out in public all weekend! Is there something about the words "Highly Contagious" that she and her "Doctors" don't understand? Well that's ObamaCare For ya!

   I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts

   Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.

   Heading out for a weekend camping trip. Anybody know the WiFi password for "the woods"?

   Just ironed a crease in these basketball shorts so I can wear them for Casual Friday.

   Weekend plans: Driving around downtown throwing Big Macs at girls with a thigh gap...... *bonus points for getting it into the thigh gap.

   Getting hyped for the weekend is soooo mainstream.

   I hope the person who invented the 5-day work week, with only a 2-day weekend, died alone and poor.

   Done! Just completed my weekend to-do list from 2007.

   Often wonder if ax murderers hide in the woods or live in regular houses. Anyway, have fun camping this weekend.