friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   If you’re in the woods this weekend and see a large man wearing a hockey mask don’t assume he’s a Wayne Gretzky fan.

   Geologists say the California earthquake will most likely happen this weekend due to earthquakes being too busy during the week.

   Which one of the Ten Commandments says: Thou Shalt Not Eat Meat On Friday?

   Hillary Clinton was Diagnosed on Friday with Highly Contagious Bacterial Pneumonia and has been out in public all weekend! Is there something about the words "Highly Contagious" that she and her "Doctors" don't understand? Well that's ObamaCare For ya!

   I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts

   Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.

   Heading out for a weekend camping trip. Anybody know the WiFi password for "the woods"?

   Just ironed a crease in these basketball shorts so I can wear them for Casual Friday.

   Weekend plans: Driving around downtown throwing Big Macs at girls with a thigh gap...... *bonus points for getting it into the thigh gap.

   Getting hyped for the weekend is soooo mainstream.

   I hope the person who invented the 5-day work week, with only a 2-day weekend, died alone and poor.

   Done! Just completed my weekend to-do list from 2007.

   Often wonder if ax murderers hide in the woods or live in regular houses. Anyway, have fun camping this weekend.

   Very impressed with the quick action and massive protests by Black Lives Matter in Chicago this weekend protesting the death of 15 young Blacks so far in July. HAHA ... Just kidding .... They don't really care about black deaths in Chicago.

   I'm gonna party this weekend like its THE PURGE

   If you don't lose a finger or two this weekend can you really even call yourself an American.

   To all of the Canadians celebrating Canada Day in America this weekend ..... Your Welcome.

   Public Service Announcement: If you plan on using Illegal Fireworks this July 4th weekend .... Please remember to remove their Sombreros first.

   Let's proudly wave our American flags made in China this weekend.

   It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.