Funny Status Messages

   A man in a bar sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He says to her, "nice legs." She says "you realy think so?" The man says "oh yeah, most tables would have collapsed by now."

   Why do saudis wear a pizza tablecloth on their heads?

   Ha ha suckas....Pie and Cake are safer to eat than salad!

   It's that time of the year when stores play that rapey "Baby It's Cold Outside" song

   Why is trump pardoning a turkey? Did it murder a journalist?

   A train station is where trains stop. A bus station is where buses stop. At my desk at work I have a work station.

   "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

   Wild Turkey on the rocks helps to cope with your relatives on Thanksgiving.

   Thanksgiving is a good time to give people the bird and tell them to stuff it. Happy Thanksgiving. :-)

   Always choose a proctologist with a good butt-side manner.

   Q: When can women make you a millionaire? A: When you're a billionaire.

   Thanksgiving is the only time a Califorian can see a natural breast.

   The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements, which included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later?

   I am already ashamed of some of the things I will be doing over the festive holiday.

   When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough.

   Don't worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. You should worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. :-)

   I took my introverted turtle to an orgy and he immediately started coming out of his shell

   Just remember Satan worshipers, he got his a$$ kicked by some Georgia redneck...

   Lets all say a prayer for Bill Clinton after watching the Monica interview his holidays will suck

   Don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 15 pounds before eating your Thanksgiving dinner. Happy Thanksgiving :-)