love Funny Status Messages

   Don't you just hate it when you finally get the courage to confess your love to someone and they just stare at you, meow and walk away.

   I love spending money as much as my government does.

   I love watching all the fish in my tank suck in the same piece of fish shi t and then spitting it out, thinking it was food.

   Let's get married, make babies, argue about money & yell hurtful things at each other while praying for a way out. That's real love baby!

   I love being a woman. I can slap anyone on the ass and get away with it.

   You haven't visited my farm on Facebook. Don't you love me anymore? - Crazy Girlfriend

   You better believe it's true love, if first thing I want to do in morning is kiss you without waiting for you brush your teeth.

   I love you too much to avenge what you did to me.

   The problem with feelings is WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

   I love you.... and your weed.

   Dance like the photo's not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And do it all like it won't end up on FACEBOOK.

   You say stalker, I say dedicated. You say psycho, I say nothing says I love you like a severed cat head.

   Men, if you're looking to spoil your lady this christmas, make sure there's WIFI in the kitchen, chicks love WIFI in the kitchen.

   My bud just updated his Facebook status: "I love my girlfriend so much. You are my world xxxxx." I wonder why her name's encrypted.

   I'm knee deep in pu$$y. Seriously, my 19 cats love the hell outta me.

   Dear sleep , I kow we had problems when I was younger but I love you now.

   I love to put a box of cheerios in the mouth of the loved one that snores everynight

   I love sitting with her at night, holding hands, imagining life without her.

   I consider myself a hopeless romantic because I only fall in love with women who are out of my league.

   Turn the time release off on my morphine drip so I know your love is real.