santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.

   Dear Facebook Family...Thanks for being the Joy to my World...Merry Christmas!

   There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries

   just called 911. To report a fat white guy in a red suit just broke in to my home and snatched up a plate of cookies. Hey fatty you left your presents. We got your finger prints and we be looking for you. You so dumb.

   thinks Bill Gates and Steve Jobs should be Santa Claus and forced to give us all presents

   broke as a mofo..why can't Santa Claus be real????

   I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-(

   some weird fat man with a white beard wearing red clothes just shoved me into a big red sock... OK people, which one of you asked to get me for Christmas??

   When I was a child, I always used to search my parent's drawers and cupboards in the run up to Christmas so I'd know exactly what to expect. Although I never did receive that Vibratron Pleasuremax 3000.

   Please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do remember Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do rembe Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   Has finally found my Christmas spirit. Now if I could just remember where I put those candy cane shot glasses, I could start drinking it...

   I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But, if the white runs out, I'll drink the red

   Twas the night before Christmas, and I have not a joke, just a bunch of these presents and now I am broke. I shall awake in the mornin and hear all the chatter, watch my children open gifts realizing the clothes dont matter. To all of you out there I wish

   The christmas nativity play was cancelled. Not due to religious reasons, but because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin

   Hey Everyone just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.. If you can't be good....... be carefull.. Have a safe and fun holiday...

   What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!

   My son finally found out Santa isn't real, but he claims he heard footsteps on the roof the last couple years on Christmas. This year instead of leaving cookies and sleeping, he's going to sit on the roof with a shotgun.

   says Happy Christmas to all Canadians and Marry Hanukkah to my fellow Americans.

   Ladies if you wanna get yo man a tie this Christmas thats fine...Just make sure you are wearing tie with nothing else on when you give it too him...