Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 657 of 6382
Bigfoot saw me yesterday but no one believes him!
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09-14-2018 19:09 by Truman
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The I before E except after C rule has been disproven by science.
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09-14-2018 18:31 by Haha
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I asked my friends, "Are you Ok?" and they replied, "Yes, especially if you give us half of your money."
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09-14-2018 13:16
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What I if told you, you read that first part wrong?
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09-14-2018 12:51
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Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself, call me, then I will.
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09-14-2018 12:49
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It's not so much that I love karate as that I hate wooden - planks!
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09-14-2018 10:27 by Truman
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I think people who use the wrong word should have the humidity to admit it.
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09-14-2018 08:08
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If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him.
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09-14-2018 07:21 by Stevielea
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An average person farts 13 times a day......... finally!! I'm above average at something.
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09-14-2018 07:03 by Stevielea
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It’s so cute when billionaire philanthropists donate less than 1%. Bless their hearts.
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09-14-2018 04:46 by RyanRyan
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Bean bag chairs are venus fly traps for anyone over 40
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09-14-2018 01:25
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I felt naughty asking for my latte to be extra frothy
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09-14-2018 00:59
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I always give fat people wrong directions so they can get much needed exercise.
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09-14-2018 00:56
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Welcome to your 40's. You get horny anywhere, anytime. Without warning.
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09-14-2018 00:16
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This guy at work said not to use (SSD) solid state drives because if they get infected with malware it spreads faster.
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09-13-2018 19:22
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Come on people, drink a cup of Folgers and wake up.
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09-13-2018 17:25 by IDTN
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Most people write congrats because they don't know the spelling of congrajulashions
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09-13-2018 13:45
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If you send an e-mail to someone in jail, are you allowed to attach a file?
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09-13-2018 13:23
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We need a reality show where Flat-Earthers attempt to find the edge of the planet.
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09-13-2018 11:56
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What if you are an atheist, and you're stuck behind a guy with a "Honk if You Love Jesus" bumper sticker at a traffic light?
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09-13-2018 07:22
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