bego Funny Status Messages

   Do I really need a 3ft receipt for buying a coke and a pack of gum?

   Follow your heart, but bring your brain for back-up.

   Monday isn't so bad if you lube up.

   To all the fat chicks that only take pics from the neck up .... good try ... good try.

   We live in a time period of smart phones and stupid people.

   Thank you for your payment, I'm going to give you a confirmation number." "Cool, I'm going to pretend I'm writing it down.

   You never fully realize how terrible your toothbrush is until you get a new one.

   I can't believe I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

   This lady on the highway is driving like a maniac & she has kids in the car. Lady I'm not following you. I want to watch Ice Age too.

   The only time I ever drink ginger ale is on a plane. WTF is up with that?

   Everybody hates that as$hole that takes 5 minutes to back into a parking spot.

   FACT: No chick has ever been laid in the back of a PT cruiser . Look it up on Wikipedia.

   Wake up!” Me: (~_~) (-_-) (o_-) (-_o) (>_<) (o_O) (o_o)

   There's no need to rush. If something's meant to be, it'll happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

   Any dude who waits for Valentines Day to treat his woman like a Queen is failing 364 days a year.

   Mark Zuckerberg got married today. His new wife set her relationship status to "CHA-CHING!!"

   Kids are ridiculous these days, when we were young, we took spelling tests, not pregnancy tests.

   Who else backspaces their whole password, even if only one letter is wrong?

   In your bed: it's 6:00, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school: it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31.

   She said "Every Kiss begins with K", I said "To bad Ugly begins with U"