Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   proof that God has a sense of humor...

   here..now what are your other two wishes????

   just not the same since that house fell on my sister

   "the center of attention, even when he's up against the wall"

   what Willis was talking about...

   Mclovin' it.

   pretty fly for a white guy

   busier than a cucumber in a woman's prison.

   wants a hug

   only here while supplies last

   tired of chasing his dreams. I'm just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.

   eating mushrooms and chasing white rabbits.

   It may be the early bird that gets the worm. But it?s the second mouse that gets the cheese.

   please don't follow in my footsteps coz I walk into walls

   "If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?"

   "Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore, when you can just pick them up off the beach for free?"

   the reason the chicken crossed the road...

   under your bed

   has just finished installing a flux compacitor in his DeLorean and is headed back to 1985

   running with scissors!