Funny Status Messages

   wishes the voices in his head would quit singing off-key

   if she was a boy then he would be gay

   cutting your brakes

   Almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met :(

   an undiscovered comedy genius

   Cooking pork chops in the toaster

   really thinks you should get help

   what's for breakfast!

   crunchy on the outside with a deliciously chewy center

   just two away from a threesome

   processing please wait

   calling doctor after 4 hour erection

   back for the first time

   CELEBRATING CAPS LOCK AWARENESS DAY

   would like to buy a vowel.

   Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.

   above the influence.

   more issues than your magazine.

   double ough seven

   attempting to give a damn