Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   LOVING CAPS LOCK

   in your boyfriends extended network.

   thought he had a good tan... until he took a shower!

   mad because the government stole my Weapon of Mass Destruction

   pretending to water the fake plants

   living vicariously through herself.

   "Not only do I not know what's going on, but I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."

   not smarter than a 5th grader :(

   lovin' it

   "happy and you know it, so clap your hands!"

   Feeding your dog Chocolate

   totally voting for Pedro

   diagonally parked in a parallel universe

   selling his soul for a bag of skittles

   having an excellent adventure with Bill and Ted

   the coolest thing since string cheese

   dispatching her gang of flying monkeys.

   eating all the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms cereal...

   defying society's law of average.

   "Two's company, three's...the musketeers!!!!!"