Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   needing to be kissed. And often. And by someone who knows how.

   wants a snuggie made out of sham wow material

   bald, fat, Chinese, rich. Wanna goto the movie sometime?

   just passed a Leopluradon on his/her way to Candy Mountain

   sometimes your the windshield; sometimes your the bug.

   THOUGHT about getting outta bed, still thinking, still thinking

   save a horse, ride a chupacabra

   life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain

   so fine, he's so fine he blows your mind.

   it turns out, is not a jedi :(

   somewhere over the rainbow

   fighting the financial crisis

   the limit of the variable approaching perfection.

   wears her sunglasses at night

   Available in 'Small' Medium' and 'Large'

   reading the first 100 pages of the Economic Stimulus Plan!

   rated E for everyone.

   wants a sham wow

   [this comment has been removed due to legal action by the Church of Scientology]

   once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die