Funny Status Messages

   a date with 2 Girls from 1 Cup

   When I was a kid I used to trick the tooth fairy with kidney stones

   Something you never hear in the news: "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North."

   Shouldn't the fortune in every fortune cookie be "You are about to eat a stale cookie?"

   going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

   When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

   A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Share' button.

   took the "What should you be doing right now" quiz. And the answer is... WORK !

   When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

   spreading some positive molecules

   i love gummy bears cuz they dont attack when you chew their heads off

   What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

   doesn't understand what the fascination is with Camping...You work hard all year to pay your Mortgage/Rent, only to spend your vacation pretending you're Homeless

   loving his new padded room,

   For sale 57" flat screen TV 200 Quid Only defect is the volume button is broke.....For that price you can't turn it down!

   watching paint dry

   going to be in such good shape now that he found these WII fit Cheat codes!

   destroyed his periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of supprise

   has logged out. You missed him by mere minutes

   would give his right arm to be ambidexious