Funny Status Messages

   I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

   I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

   says a cannibal is someone who goes to a resturant and orders the waiter!!

   Trust me...Even if I gave a sh*t I wouldnt give it to you!

   typing the postcodes of nudist colonies into Google Earth and pressing 'zoom'.

   Comes to earth when mars gets boring

   doesn't want a happy ending... that implies something has to end. Me... I want a fantastic right now!

   the real farther of Michael Jacksons children.

   if at first you don't succeed...skydiving is not for you!!!

   You know when you say "that thinga-ma-bob"? Does Bob say "that-thinga-ma-me" and when I'm talking to Bob should I say "that-things-ma-you"? In a proper setting is it "that-thinga-ma-Robert"? If 2 guys named Bob are together, do they say "that-thinga-ma-u

   I hate when I get Drunk and Bid on Ebay.

   I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's ok cause they know me there.

   somewhere between raising Hell and amazing grace.

   When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

   Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

   Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?

   Figured I'm pretty smart--it took me all summer, but.. I found all the paw-prints, put them in my notebook, sat down in my thinking chair...& ... I just figured out Blue's Clues & what it's all about!

   we had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

   Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning "bad hunter."

   wishing that the gnomes would return my stuff!