Funny Status Messages

   ..really hates her boss. When I showed up 2 hours late,he shouted at me. I told him I had fallen down the stairs . He said "So? That doesn't take two hours!!"

   in Napa Valley looking for wine, but should be in the midwest, talking to Repubicans cause no one whines line a Repubilcan.

   I didn't hit you....I simply high fived your face

   wondering why the police officers never seem to think it's as funny as you do...

   "having a smoking section in a restaurant should b like having a peeing section in a swimming pool......." right??

   I wore a Michael Vick jersey to the dogpark. Yea, I'm a badass. What.

   I drank so much vodka last night that my liver is giving me the finger!

   wondering...Do you think stores would open another resister if I brought a flame thrower in with me? I f****n hate to wait!!!!

   Don't wait for the perfect moment...Take the moment and make it perfect...

   says, Love your enemies. It will confuse them!..

   believes in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it..

   wants to do something different today so is thinking about sitting on the TV to watch the sofa!!!..=D

   --------- ̿̿̿ ̿' ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -----------

   looking through your bedroom window

   we dont need no educashun

   "always appears a saint, when most I play the devil"

   No matter how little I do in a day....I always feel like I could have done less.

   Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

   Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

   4 out of 5 dentists... leaves one dentist.