bego Funny Status Messages

   That disappointing feeling you get when you unlock the black guy in temple run and realize he's not any faster.

   I don't care what the damn expiration date says, I'm smelling the milk before I drink it.

   A rejected highfive is one of the biggest insults there is.

   Facebook's friend suggestion section should be renamed to "People you know, but probably hate."

   I want to quit drinking, but my momma didn't raise a quitter!

   Oh, you're engaged and in high school? I'm sure your marriage will last forever.

   Don't be sad because someone gave up on you. Feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would never give up on them.

   When the zombie apocalypse happens, gamers will survive. It will be up to the dorks to reproduce... they will finally get laid!

   Did we give a Nobel Prize to the guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon?

   The biggest lie I tell myself: I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.

   I was the kid that would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose.

   it considered drinking alone if you're on Facebook?

   hey... I just met you, and this is crazy, but please shut the f$ck up.

   Sometimes The Best Things In Life Are Worth Waiting For.. So Wait For Me I Will Be Right Back...

   When I text you a massive paragraph and you reply 40 minutes later with 'K' Fu$k you

   You know you had a good night when you wake up with one less friend and one new useless Ebay purchase.

   Oh you got "Swag"? I bet that looks great on your application to McDonald's.

   Carry yourself like a queen and you will attract a king! Carry yourself like a hoe, and see how far you will go.

   Seeing a loser from your high school w/ a good job is like graffiti on a highway bridge... how the Hell did that get there?

   I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."