Funny Status Messages

   "never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard on and never, ever trust a fart." Jack Nicholson

   Yo Mama is so fat! She uses an iPad as an iPhone.

   busy filling water balloons with fire hoses.

   Midgets got 99 problems, but an inch ain't one.

   lost her virginity, but still has the box it came in.

   hhhmmmmm the state of the union is on the B.E.T. network? I never saw that when Bush was in office.

   Today Apple unveiled the new I-Pad. You know, for those days when your not feeling so fresh.

   wondering if they call loacal area networks in Australia the LAN Down Under!!!!!

   The iPad: protecting your data from embarrassing incidents.

   With my iPad in my lap, I feel so fresh. All over.

   Seriously? The iPad? I'll just wait till they come out with a sleeker version... the iTampon.

   One day, you come home and everything has changed, like the locks.

   First, we had the iPod, then the iTouch and now the iPad. Is that for when they have their iPeriod? If so, I would hold off for the next larger version, the max-iPad.

   it's also Enunciate, not ANnunciate. ;)

   this is an apology to one of my friends-a Cowboys fan!I do realise you are a true fan and you were explaining their talents -but when I said I hadn't seen a Cowboy choke like that since Brokeback Mountain - I was being sincere!!

   If you and I woke up in jail together, using only FOUR words, what would you say to me? Copy & paste this in your status and see what your friends would say.

   '̿'̿̿\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿

   needs to rent a Toyota for a few days, so he has a good excuse of why he's been running over people he doesn't like....damn sticky accelerator.

   wants to remind all you out there that the proper way to annunciate it is "ValentiNes day" - not valentiMes day

   iPad...for when you have your iPeriod