Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 605 of 6382
At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?
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02-24-2019 15:54
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Had an absolutely amazing dream last night I feel could change mine and quite possibly millions of other people's lifes forever! if I could just remember what it was about?
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02-24-2019 10:26
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If you think about it, a boxing match is really just someone trying to count to 10 but they're constantly being interrupted by a fistfight between two other people.
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02-24-2019 07:44
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'Sometimes, being hurt too many times, doesn't make you stronger, it destroy who you were, who you wanted to be and makes who you are today.''
Whenever I see someone I don't know wearing what look like pajamas in public I always wonder, have they completely given up on life or are they living it to the fullest!?
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02-23-2019 15:01 by Moon
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Somewhere at this moment there is a masseuse with a ring from Super Bowl XXXVI walking into a Pawn Shop.
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02-23-2019 05:46
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Remix to conviction.. hot and ready for prison..R. Kelly
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02-23-2019 05:32
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Too many of environmentally friendly philosophers in the world and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.
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02-22-2019 21:43 by Moon
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"Thank-you Robert Kraft and R. Kelly!" - Jussie Smollett
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02-22-2019 21:27 by Gil
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I guess winning the Super Bowl wasn't the happy ending Robert Kraft was looking for.
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02-22-2019 21:10
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Not to worry Kraft. At least you're not Chicago.
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02-22-2019 15:52
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Robert Kraft's prostitution arrest. Voluntary exchange of sex and compensation between consenting adults. Kinda like marriage.
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02-22-2019 14:54 by Gil
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Robert Kraft: From Super Bowl Ring to Prostitution Ring
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02-22-2019 14:37
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Belichick= Spygate. Brady= Deflategate. Kraft= Tailgate
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02-22-2019 14:31
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Hey Jussie, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it.
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02-22-2019 13:14
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In unrelated news Julian Edleman and Tom Brady have just checked in to couples therapy...
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02-22-2019 12:19 by Jsabbage
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My Chinese pal is very upset about Peter Tork, and has been muttering "I'm a bereaver" all day?
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02-22-2019 08:36 by Truman
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Samsung devices can now run 3 apps simultaneously while you can't even hover past incoming calls on the iPhone😩
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02-21-2019 14:49
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Samsung galaxy S10 Will still Touch ground and break If it can't float on the air when I mistakenly drop it, I don't want
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02-21-2019 14:44
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That Jussie dude sounds like such an A-hole you'd think he could have just gotten beat up based on his personality.
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02-21-2019 12:41
Comments (6)