moon Funny Status Messages

   Taking things to the thrift store. But first I have to drive around with it in the back of my car for the next 3 months.

   I decided not to host the Oscars this year and see they couldn't find anyone to replace me.

   I think those status updates that's say copy and paste this status so I'll know who's reading my status are stupid. Copy and paste this status if you agree.

   I just got gas for $1.99! And no it wasn't at Taco Bell.

   With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.

   ¡ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq I ǝɯᴉʇ ʇsɐl ǝɥʇ sᴉ sᴉɥʇ

   If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)

   Looking at my kitchen junk drawer I think I finally have enough miscellaneous things accumulated to build a spaceship to get off this rock!

   The problem with driving an old air-cooled Volkswagen bus is kids keep mistaking it as an ice cream truck, and the worst part is it's so slow they could almost catch you.

   Come join the world wide movement called "I pledge to bend over and pick up a random piece of garbage on the street or wherever I see it" movement. Like and share if you like to join!

   I'm so old I remember when friends had to inviting you over if they wanted to share what they were having for dinner.

   I'm so old when I was a kid the World Wide Web was connected by a string, and two cups.

   I'm so old when I was a kid the World Wide Web what is connected by a string, and two cups.

   I'm tired of girlfriends treating me like a god, as in only call on me when they need something and ignore me the rest of the time.

   I'm so old I......just forgot what I was going to post?

   I'm so old I remember when people the only people who took something off your porch were called milkmen.

   Just cleaned out my friends list and for the first time in my life I finally know what they meant in Auld Lang Syne when they wrote "Should old acquaintances be forgot, and never brought to mind"

   With the new year my plan is to conquer a mountain! also known as finish folding the clean cloths piling up on top of the dryer.

   Time to lose a little weight from the holidays with my guaranteed to work weight loss program that's called "Log Out of Facebook"

   Just when I was getting use to writing 2019