ff1241 Funny Status Messages

   People must do well to remember that a nose belongs on the face and not stuck in SOME OTHER PLACE.

   Was told to set an example. So I picked to be a bad example

   So if you don't know the local language and need to find a restroom. The universal sign is to act like your holding your penis and making a hissing sound. Don't ask me how I know this.

   Someone give Bruno Mars a grenade and pull the pin. I'm getting sick of that song. She dosen't love you, I don't wanna hear about how your stalking her.

   Chocolate chip cookie dough has a warning to not eat it raw. Who in their right mind is not going to do that. I can't even remember the last time I got cookie dough and made them into cookies.

   Taboo jeopardy is a lot more fun to play. Maybe because I know the answers.

   Snowman hunting is good training for the zombie apocalypse.

   If I ever own a bar I'm going to name it "church". I'll also get a Mexican bartender named Jesus.

   New Years Eve – one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early. I just hope I'll be sober enought to drive from work to the bar.

   It's a Red Bull kind of day.

   trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.

   I may still be single but I know that I have saved a lot of money on a wedding and even more on the divorce.

   It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.

   Please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do remember Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do rembe Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   I wish people would understand I only sing when I'm drunk and that little shot of wine in church just doesn't cut it.

   wants to point out that real men don't sparkle unless he just got back from the titty bar.

   It's that time of year again when I don't need the refrigerator to keep the beer cold.

   "Bacon is meat candy."

   Am I the only one who thinks that they should be a bracket style tournament for the gangs on Gangland? I would definitely put the DVR to some good use. .