bego Funny Status Messages

   It's hard to be your prince charming when you'd rather just fool around with all 12 of the dwarves.

   Ladies, if you suspect your man of cheating and you know where the "mystery" woman lives... drive by the house and if the WiFi connects you have your answer.

   I'm a lover of music and music has never betrayed me.

   Im not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.

   wow I love how your face is 5 shades darker than your neck

   Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks back and change batteries in smoke alarms.

   When a guy calls you hot, he is looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he is looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful, he is looking at your heart. All three guys still wanna fuc& you, though.

   I give up on life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as FREE FOOD.

   X says Well, it's easy to tell I'm single. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...

   Maybe Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.

   Remember the Harlem Shake? I think we can all agree that was really stupid.

   Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.

   My friend came over today and left his new laptop on the damn floor. My dad not knowing how old fashion he is thought it was a scale. Conclusion: My dad weighs 980.34$ dollars.

   That was Samuel Jackson's first ever public appearance without saying "mother$ucker"

   5 Stages of Life: 1. Just a kid. 2. Don’t want to be a kid. 3. Afraid you’re still a kid. 4. Definitely not a kid. 5. Wish you were a kid.

   You say “YOLO”, I say “YADA”. You’re A Dumb As%.

   Just saw a K9 sheriff car with a bumper sticker that said got dope?

   The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, “Damn That’s how I want you to do it.”

   The easiest way to keep people from getting involved in your personal problems is to not post them on the internet.

   DOCTORS WRITING: "﹏﹏ ﹏﹏ ﹏﹏." HOW I SEE IT: "∮₪₮￦￡." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Damn Aspirin."