Markf Funny Status Messages

   confused...the system admin told me to 'have a little patients.' Does this mean I need to become a pediatrician?

   sad that '24' is coming to an end after 8 seasons. I have given 8 whole days of my life to this series.

   glad to hear that the IRS is finally concerned that some people have been trying without success to dial the IRS Taxpayer Assistance Hot Line since 1984.

   looking at the "voluntary" tax contribution box on his 1040 form and wondering what planet those IRS guys are from.

   letdown. Crop circles just don't have the same mystique in backyard grass. (mood: disappointed)

   secretly wishes Michael had gone ahead and body-slammed Ryan Seacrest last night.

   realizes he is too apologetic sometimes. Sorry.

   saw a man get out of his convertible at Wal-Mart yesterday, take two steps and then turn back to lock the doors. I chuckled because the top was down.

   once watched a movie for 30 minutes waiting for a commercial so he could grab a snack -- then remembered it was a DVD.

   snuck his daughter's phone and changed his contact info to Batman. Now it's a little more exciting when she gets a text like 'get ready. picking you up in 5 mins.

   sometimes stops when walking into a store, waiting for the automatic doors to open. Then I realize they aren't automatic.

   cautious. There is a "Stop Time" button on the microwave that was probably supposed to read "Stop Timer" but I don't press it, just in case.

   sure now that after Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook) was just announced as the youngest billionaire on Forbe's list, his mom doesn't tell him he's spending too much time on Facebook.

   just had a work email from someone asking to "bare with me" until the system is back up. I replied that I didn't see how nudity would fix the problem.

   going over to the dark side...I figure it's just a burnt lightbulb needs replacing.

   glad to hear that SeaWorld is reopening its "safer" shows this week featuring Norman, the Involuntary Manslaughter Whale.

   watching today the bare-knuckled, bruising clash between competitors vying to win recognition for their national pride. Then President Obama dismissed the Healthcare summit and I watched the Olympics.

   thinks it's funny that Evolutionists believe enough million monkeys will eventually type out a literary work. Facebook has proven this wrong.

   relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.

   wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.