JEBI Funny Status Messages

   After putting up xmas lights last night I'm wondering why no one hasn't opened up a business that untangles xmas lights...

   Props to our cat for getting excited about eating the same food EVERYDAY!

   Found out today that midgets dont like being called midgets....AND they really dont like being called people McNuggets...

   My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes...

   So you think you can fly a plane would be a fun show to watch...

   Another pair of my socks are getting a divorce...

   There... crazy glued quarters to the ground in front of the vending machine at work...let the fun begin....

   What is the difference between a Snickers and Justin Bieber? The Snickers has nuts....ZING...

   This is the time of year when you can put mistletoe in your back pocket so that people who don't like you can kiss your...well you know...

   If she can still walk after se x to make you a sammich... then you're doing it wrong...

   I always hold the door open for women… even if they don't want to get into my van…

   Today is the American Thanksgiving or as we in Canada like to call it...Thursday. Happy Thanksgiving you funny people...

   I've reached an age in my life where "you shouldn't say that.." turns into "what the hell, let's see what happens..."

   I'm wondering if my mail order bride from the middle east comes with a bang?

   I've single handedly defeated my erection...

   I just bought the new vi@gra flavor ice cream...its been 4 hours and it still hasn't melted...

   John Denver's “Rocky Mountain High” the new official song for the state of Colorado...

   Denver is going to be the mile "really" high city...

   Alright...who else is making plans to move to Colorado?

   Mitt Romney's campaign slogan, 'Keep America American,' the same as a phrase used by the KKK? Interesting...