Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   You make me hold it for 250 miles, good luck on the last twenty feet A$$HOLE!-Bladder

   Click like if you almost cried when Trey said,"Yo Dough...You still got one Brotha left!".

   I now have a strong dislike for Illinois, Kansas, and Maryland. Maybe if we're lucky they cheated like on Willy Wonka!!!

   Right now in houses across the Nation, parents are trying to explain to their kids where their college funds went.

   Just rubbed the blue dot from the National Enquirer (fingers crossed).

   Dear In and Out Burger, I hate you!! Signed, Someone Who Works Down the Street

   What's up with Melissa Gilbert's prison tattoos?

   Be advised, if you read a status from me pertaining to driving, that I have safely pulled the vehicle safely off the road to update said status. Why? Because dying on the job wasn't in the contract. That is all

   Kind of shocked more professional fisherman aren't driving metal flaked vehicles as well.

   Just nailed the "She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys.." part on Hotel California.....don't judge

   Hey Janet Lehman, how about I send you MY program for free? It's called a BELT!! You're welcome

   Today, I ask that everyone read my posts in the voice of Forrest Gump.

   (posted on my wife's wall this morning) Good morning Sunshine. You see that stack of bills on the counter? That's how many times I thought of you today...

   Crushed ice, needs to be placed higher on a pedastool.

   This day thirty years ago, I gave the old excuse "My underwear are!".

   23% of households today have a "new" roll of toilette paper sitting on the empty roll.

   I wish the string on my weedeater had a Hollywood clip.

   I'm gon' do it, gon' do it Gon' do it, do it, do it

   When I'm the designated driver, I want to look cool ordering my drink. So I ask for a Jack and Dr. Pepper hold the Jack.

   Today is worse than the day my brothers broke my nose with their stupid football. RIP Davy- Marsha B