Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the body. 
you wouldn't happen to have your missing DVD player's remote... would you?
repairing his/her wall. Thanks Kool Aid Man.
a good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be in there with you and a sister will stand outside the cell laughing at you
No Budweisor I have not been drinking any officers tonight
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Go Go Gadget status!
Why put G20 in heaviest populated city in Canada? It's not like we don't have room anywhere else in the second largest country in the world....
a firm believer that drinking beer makes you you smarter...I mean, it did make Bud weiser!!
Whats that Mr. Churchill; you say the germans are picking on your nation again, and you want need some help.
Sometimes in order to see the light, you must blind yourself to bullsh*t
A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness. And a friend like me…Sh*t, that's just a sign of good taste!!
Opportunity knocks but once... if Opportunity knocks twice...Opportunity walks in and steals your TV set
They say "don't drink and drive" but yesterday I was drinking a juice box while on my tricycle. It made me feel dangerous!
Of all great losses in life, Time is the most irrecoverable. It can never be redeemed.
I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless. And in this moment I am happy..
World Cup 2010 Winner is Arge███████ loading 73%
Ok England fans...you were saying?...."sounds of silence"
4-1 Germany over England LOL....guess "YOUR" sport has passed you by...
England fans : If it makes you feel any better, the cricket team is doing well against the Aussies... 