Funny Status Messages

   Brett Favre to retire today...IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!

   A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn.

   thinks the study that came out yesterday saying the more educated you are and the more money you make the more likely you are to drink is wrong.. I think the more you drink, the more likely you are to think you are rich and smart!

   that behind every player there is always someone who put them in the game..(~o,^)..

   just watched the A-team. It was really good. I like the part when stuff blew up.

   Heres a question. If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife switched phones and facebook profile for 24 hrs would you still have a relationship!!!!!

   It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer it stays in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and it starts to sag - It's not what you think... it's a Tetley's Tea Bag!!

   The future of American women is being led by role models like Snooki, Lindsay Lohan, Nicki Minaj... you're totally screwed.

   Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't..

   My friend was telling me about his job and he said there were a lot of Hoes there. I got excited so I went to work with him one day. Turns out he's a landscaper. I hate Homonyms.

   Love Walmart where everyone can Enter through the EXIT door and exit through an ENTER door!! What are we all on DRUGS??

   Walmart where everyone can Enter through the EXIT door and exiting through an ENTER door!!

   getting high and watching sharks...

   i mean cmon.... what girl doesnt grab their friends boobs when they are drunk?

   Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it

   two blondes walk into a bar... you would think one of them would of saw it

   The U.S military has plans for attacking Iran according to the Joint Chief of Staff. For details, go to Wikileaks.org

   The BP spill is now officially the worst spill in history.. surpassing Monica Lewinsky's dress.

   I've had bratwurst for 4 days straight. I think that means I have to pay taxes in Wisconsin now.

   I think if a player wants more money because he "outplayed his contract", then pay him more if he hasn't been getting into trouble. But, put in a clause stating if he "under plays his contract" team able to reduce his pay accordingly. Injuries aside.