Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 580 of 6446

Those were not boos. They were alternative cheers.
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10-29-2019 00:19
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When I was a kid I used to have an imaginary friend then as an adult I had thousands of them, until I deleted my Facebook account.
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10-28-2019 21:34
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Have you ever noticed that lOl looks like a man drowning?
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10-28-2019 21:28
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I don’t win marathons because I’m athletic, I win them because I’m driven
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10-28-2019 18:53
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Sometimes it's best to keep things between you and your neighbors. Like a stockade fence.
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10-28-2019 16:45
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There's been a major recall on Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Bring them to my house so I can dispose of them properly.
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10-28-2019 11:23 by DJJackson
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If you got haters . They means you are doing something right . World series
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10-28-2019 09:19
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I'm at the World Series game and they showed Trump on the big screen. All I could hear was boos and "lock him up" chants, lol
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10-27-2019 22:30
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This Jesus is King album by Kanye West is the second worst thing to happen to Jesus.

To the person who corrected my grammar online, I killed you’re whole family

When I drink I don't need a designated driver, I need a designated hide my phone person

Clitoris. They even made a whole movie about it - Finding Nimo
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10-27-2019 14:05
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I bet the creators of The Brady Bunch had no idea how much impact they would have on the porn industry...
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10-27-2019 12:11
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You cant be a Nurse 4 Halloween n have STD's, pick something else, like a Prescription!!
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10-26-2019 17:50
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If at first you don't succeed, well then maybe skydiving isn't for you.
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10-26-2019 14:22
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I hire the best people! No one can accidentally butt-dial reporters like my people do!
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10-26-2019 11:44
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I've only been on Facebooks new Dating for like 5 minutes and I've already been matched with a hammock, a new pillow top mattress, a Honda Civic and a... oh wait this is Facebook Marketplace
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10-26-2019 09:43
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I've only been on Facebook new Dating for like 5 minutes and I've already been matched with a hammock, a new pillow top mattress, a Honda Civic and a... oh wait this is Facebook Marketplace
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10-26-2019 09:43
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Never ask a woman with no teeth for gum
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10-26-2019 07:22
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The cashier asked me if I wanted my milk in a bag to whom I replied No thanks, I think it would be easier to carry home in the container.
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10-25-2019 22:19
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