Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 572 of 6383
Hear me out. An Elton John themed Indian restaurant named Rocket Naan.
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08-14-2019 18:50
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My husband just solved a puzzle on Wheel of Fortune with only 2 letters turned on the board and he leaned over to high five me. If anyone wants to high five him back, he’s still waiting.
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08-14-2019 18:50
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With all the technology today, how is it possible that the "mullets make you look like a total tool" message has not made it to all people?
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08-14-2019 18:49
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I wonder if my dog always follows me into the bathroom when I have to go potty because I always follow him outside when he does and he just thinks that’s how it works
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08-14-2019 18:48
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I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.
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08-14-2019 18:48
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And his opponent, coming down the aisle, from Sheffield, Alabama, weighing 180 lbs, he is Moscow Mitch McConnell!
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08-14-2019 18:05
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There are still areas in the Middle East without peace and where women don’t have equal rights. I was certain Jared and Ivanka would have fixed that by now.
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08-14-2019 18:00
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Yesssssss!!!!! A recession is coming!!!! This is the greatest day of my life!
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08-14-2019 16:44
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I hope the below pays tens of thousands of dollars on healthcare since he thinks he's a big man, paying full price for his healthcare.
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08-14-2019 16:08
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I hope the aliens from Area 51 don't escape. I don't want to pay for their healthcare too.
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08-14-2019 15:56
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Does Chewbacca have 2 nipples like a human or two rows of them like an dog??
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08-14-2019 14:57
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Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching The Wiggles on repeat.
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08-14-2019 13:08
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Pavlov’s hair wasn’t always silky. He had to condition it.
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08-14-2019 13:07
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The Dow Jones is way down. Yay, I'm so happy!
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08-14-2019 12:57
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Police in Florida have arrested a man who said he finally achieved his goal of shoplifting in all 50 states. You know what you call someone who steals from all 50 states? Current president.
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08-14-2019 12:23
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Why are all the porn sites down at the same time? What am I suppose to do now, my job?
Trump has been under investigation for two years. None of his enemies has committed suicide.
Daffy Duck calls the hotel desk & asks for a condom. They ask "Shall we put it on your bill?"...He says "Are you thupid! I'll thuffocate!"
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08-14-2019 06:19
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Police in Florida have arrested a man who said he finally achieved his goal of shoplifting in all 50 states. You know what you call someone who steals from all 50 states? Congressman.
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08-14-2019 06:07
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Researchers at the University of Minnesota say movie theater popcorn may cause memory loss. See, that explains why Hollywood keeps making the same movies over and over again.
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08-14-2019 06:06
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