Funny Status Messages
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Holy Wars are just arguments about who has a better imaginary friend. 
9/11...i thought it was on the 9th of November....i'll never get used the US date thing!
the greatest day ever will be when the US decides to nuke the middle East , killing all the camel jockeys
Most Good People Say: Forgive & Forget, But 9/11 Is Not One Of Those Days That Is Possible...
My girl, it's difficult to say what she does....she sells sea shells on the sea shore.
It takes 4 toilet paper rolls to suck all the water out of the toilet. This is also just enough to bring a one year old great joy.
As I was listening to myself sneeze, I realized it sounds like "eh choo" not "ah choo" so maybe my sneeze is Canadian?
Here's a secret tip for X-files fans: Drink two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place with all recollections of the previous nights events mysteriously "erased".
Honestly, I love every single some of you.
I bet Clint Eastwood uses the most badass denture adhesive available.
wondering why the big uproar about burning Crayons??
Someday, I'd like to take a train across the country.. but they never leave the keys in them.
going to spend his cab money on more shots and just get an ambulance home
Celebrate 9/11/2010 by burning a copy of the Patriot Act.
I dont know if my piggy bank is sick or anorexic but its been getting real skinny lately and I dont wanna be charged to animal cruelty so time to make some cash.
waking up next to Julie Chen with no make-up makes me want to saw me penis off with a rusty car key
According to every arcade in the world, 'AAA' and 'ASS' are the most common initials
To the brave souls who lost their lives tragically 9 years ago today.. may you never be forgotten R.I.P
Thinks facebook has ruined school reunions.. now everyone knows your full of sh*t before you get there..
When on vacation, don't take pictures of building...take pictures of moments...Keep them close to your heart and never let them go! 