Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   i m dissapointment in your grammer

   anything not related to elephant is IRRelephant

   For this, is a special time when family And friends get together,for fun. Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days, In this festive season of diwali and always!!!!!!!!

   putting "in bed" after all his friends facebook statuses.

   forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of her sandwich.

   ...warns you this Halloween to beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, and band saws.

   This Halloween, I'll be handing out those little tiny candy bars. I think they're called bite-me sized.

   : Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I've got five fingers, the middle one's for you.

   it in the Job Description for Bomb Maker you have to be a medical student ?

   if you cant solve life's problems try Ctrl + Alt + Del

   First trick or treater at our house is this 5 year old girl I say "What a great costume Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorites" she looks confused and says "I am snooki"

   going to be the one stuck handing out candy again which is a horrible idea.. Me and people never ends up going well.

   Went out tonight, saw many women with hot costumes including Sexy Snow White, Naughty Nurse, Hot Cop, Horny Devil, French Maid, etc....but not one Will Leave You Alone During The Football Game and Give You a BJ during Halftime. The search continues...

   i said to me little sister spell MacDonald and I will take you there she replied ok lets go to KFC

   happy Diwali ...the festival of lights (India)

   I wonder if Halloween is like a night off for prostitutes, since so many women are dressed like that, who can tell who's the real deal?

   My girlfriend got f**ked by a clown before we dated. So I have some pretty big shoes to fill.

   Creaming my candy corn this year so if you stop by to trick or treat, bring a bowl.

   My grandpa used to say "The best cure for a broken heart is a piping hot bowl of mom's homemade chicken soup. And a hooker."

   Charlie Sheen stole Brett Favre's cell phone.