Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5392 of 6374
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thinks people who end sentences with prepositions should knock it off.
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11-24-2010 11:43
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Deja Fu: I've been kicked in the head like this before...
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praying I don't get gravy on my nice clothes.
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11-24-2010 10:20
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wondering what all the Vegitarians are doing for Thanksgiving.
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11-24-2010 10:19 by Steve OH
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going thru the airport scan today with a complete spiderman suit under my street clothes
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Todays lesson: You WRITE a letter or note. You TYPE an e -mail, message or text.
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11-24-2010 09:22
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thinks people with parkinsons just have a good song stuck in their head
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11-24-2010 09:09 by Yaj
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likes being vague, because it's almost as fun as doing this other thing.
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at the airport and not too upset about going through a full-body scan... what I am REALLY upset about is that this Enzyte stuff totally DOESN'T WORK AT ALL!
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11-24-2010 08:20
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There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
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Do you want to make a difference? Be different.
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It's a good thing I have Facebook. Otherwise I'd be doing something dumb right now like being efficient at my job.
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I often view the Thanksgiving table as a roulette table, something about potato salad and macaroni salad made by people that don't like me makes me think I would be safer in Vegas betting the house and car
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11-24-2010 08:08 by SEAN
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The future of TSA, ma'am bend over, spread your cheeks, cough!
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11-24-2010 08:00
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They need to change the sign from "Speed Limit" to "Required Speed."
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thankful he's not a turkey
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On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – Halftime.
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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
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You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, “Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.
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What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? “If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!”