Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I just let my mind wander, but it didn't come back yet.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when only the really cool people were on Facebook? Oh, you weren't here then? Oops, my bad.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone ever tells you "we need to talk" they dont care about anything you have to say.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:33 by Dopey420 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I think it's funny that whoever deleted me from Facebook was so important that I dont know who it is...
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want someone to know that you think you're cooler than them, pretend like you don't remember their name.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:29 by Marshallthe Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a b!tch.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:26 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't answer my phone the first time you call, calling 5 more times isn't going to make me answer.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't tell me I'm insulting your intelligence when it's obvious you have none
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My TV remote control is kicking my butt at hide and seek
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to the Jersey Shore in order for me to become a successful Italian-American woman I must first nationally televise myself having sex with multipal men, drink alcohol like H20 and swear like Lisa Lampanelli. Where the FU*K can I get a contract!?
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheer leaders will live forever, Zombies only eat brains.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 22:58 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spell procrastination : F.A.C.E.B.O.O.K.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 22:28 by iamthechampion Comments (0)  


   messageicon Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 21:48 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:57 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:54 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a beach, i'm just playing in the sand.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:51 by Iamthechampion Comments (0)  




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