Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5289 of 6387
I just let my mind wander, but it didn't come back yet.
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01-10-2011 23:41
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Remember when only the really cool people were on Facebook? Oh, you weren't here then? Oops, my bad.
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01-10-2011 23:39
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If someone ever tells you "we need to talk" they dont care about anything you have to say.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
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01-10-2011 23:33 by Dopey420
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I think it's funny that whoever deleted me from Facebook was so important that I dont know who it is...
If you want someone to know that you think you're cooler than them, pretend like you don't remember their name.
n't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a b!tch.
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01-10-2011 23:26 by Dopey420
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My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like.
If I don't answer my phone the first time you call, calling 5 more times isn't going to make me answer.
Don't tell me I'm insulting your intelligence when it's obvious you have none
My TV remote control is kicking my butt at hide and seek
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01-10-2011 23:15
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According to the Jersey Shore in order for me to become a successful Italian-American woman I must first nationally televise myself having sex with multipal men, drink alcohol like H20 and swear like Lisa Lampanelli. Where the FU*K can I get a contract!?
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01-10-2011 23:10
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Cheer leaders will live forever, Zombies only eat brains.
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01-10-2011 23:03
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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
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01-10-2011 22:58 by Dopey420
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Spell procrastination : F.A.C.E.B.O.O.K.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
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01-10-2011 21:48 by Will
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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01-10-2011 16:57 by Will
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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01-10-2011 16:54 by Will
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Life is a beach, i'm just playing in the sand.