Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I think facebook needs an "I've seen this before, but I still like it" button....
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:57 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing a game of Hungry Hungry Typos.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you forget Valentine's Day and your lady gets angry just tell her you were waiting for Presidents Day to combine the two into one special evening.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having an anti-valentines party in my pants for all the single ladies.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my headache is gone! She finally went home!!
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon L.I.F.E. = L.ive I.t F.ully E.veryday
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:39 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont hate you!! .............I hate your parents for having you.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon celebrating black history month by watching re-runs of THE FIRST 48....
←Rate | 02-04-2011 17:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard and I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it... I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 17:31 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
←Rate | 02-04-2011 17:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Almost Valentine's day. Don't worry if you've been dumped, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just kidding, the oil spill killed them all.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 17:10 by Shawnee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My fat friends all want to go to dinner and my skinny friends all want to go to yoga.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 16:52 by Shawnee Comments (0)  


   messageicon so lazy that sometimes I just sit around staring at something I want that is across the room from the couch (okay, on the coffee table) and wish I had go-go gadget arms.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 16:50 by Shawnee Comments (0)  


   messageicon at taco bell eating 30% beef and 70% surprise
←Rate | 02-04-2011 16:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates the KKK as much as anyone... but it is kinda neat that they introduced "hoodies" to American fashion.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 16:28 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon " why is there no edit option on facebook" .. like the whole world never makes a typo ?
←Rate | 02-04-2011 15:44 by @DMortimer01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I have a problem. I'm checking myself into rehab. If anyone needs me, I'll be at Charlie Sheen's house.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's February. Think now may be a good time to take down your freakin' Christmas lights? Hmm?
←Rate | 02-04-2011 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I'm looking at a prescription medicine bottle and the directions say, "Take 1 Tablet Orally Every Day." My question is, "Who was the dumbass that stuck the tablet up his butt?"
←Rate | 02-04-2011 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon texting Buffy her next victim...EDWARD
←Rate | 02-04-2011 15:22 Comments (1)  




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