Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5270 of 6446

I think facebook needs an "I've seen this before, but I still like it" button....
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02-04-2011 18:57 by M.A.C.
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playing a game of Hungry Hungry Typos.
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02-04-2011 18:54
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if you forget Valentine's Day and your lady gets angry just tell her you were waiting for Presidents Day to combine the two into one special evening.
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02-04-2011 18:53
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I'm having an anti-valentines party in my pants for all the single ladies.
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02-04-2011 18:51
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my headache is gone! She finally went home!!
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02-04-2011 18:50
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L.I.F.E. = L.ive I.t F.ully E.veryday
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02-04-2011 18:39 by Seddy90
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I dont hate you!! .............I hate your parents for having you.
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02-04-2011 18:13
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celebrating black history month by watching re-runs of THE FIRST 48....
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02-04-2011 17:48
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thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard and I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it... I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
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02-04-2011 17:24
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Almost Valentine's day. Don't worry if you've been dumped, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just kidding, the oil spill killed them all.
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02-04-2011 17:10 by Shawnee
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My fat friends all want to go to dinner and my skinny friends all want to go to yoga.
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02-04-2011 16:52 by Shawnee
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so lazy that sometimes I just sit around staring at something I want that is across the room from the couch (okay, on the coffee table) and wish I had go-go gadget arms.
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02-04-2011 16:50 by Shawnee
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at taco bell eating 30% beef and 70% surprise
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02-04-2011 16:29
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hates the KKK as much as anyone... but it is kinda neat that they introduced "hoodies" to American fashion.

" why is there no edit option on facebook" .. like the whole world never makes a typo ?

I think I have a problem. I'm checking myself into rehab. If anyone needs me, I'll be at Charlie Sheen's house.
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02-04-2011 15:39
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It's February. Think now may be a good time to take down your freakin' Christmas lights? Hmm?
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02-04-2011 15:30
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So I'm looking at a prescription medicine bottle and the directions say, "Take 1 Tablet Orally Every Day." My question is, "Who was the dumbass that stuck the tablet up his butt?"
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02-04-2011 15:24
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texting Buffy her next victim...EDWARD
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02-04-2011 15:22
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