Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon prentends to be a russian gymnast when left alone in a elevator
←Rate | 02-20-2011 05:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does A gay horse eat? Heeeeeeyyyy!!
←Rate | 02-20-2011 05:04 by Ninja Joel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congratulations, since the Zombie Apocolypse occured you no longer have anyone human to bully you about being brainless...
←Rate | 02-20-2011 04:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a hungry cannibal choped your head open, there wouldn't even be enough to cover a water biscuit...
←Rate | 02-20-2011 04:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't wanna be around when one of the guys from ZZ Top eats an egg salad sandwich.
←Rate | 02-20-2011 03:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon they make veggie meatloaf?.... Yeah, better wash that down with a warm O'douls
←Rate | 02-19-2011 23:44 by downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you're good. Fool me four times, WOW! Did you major in fooling?
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to say some wise and meaningful crap, but the fact I just referred to it as “crap” shows just how meaningful I can be.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need constant reassurance, right?
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best episode of CSI ever, If only I have the power to turn things into reality... Justin Bieber would be dead for good!
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:19 by tracy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet cannibals were really disappointed by elbow macaroni.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vene, Vidi, Vacuum. I came, I saw, It sucked.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the waitress doesn't have a visible tattoo the restaurant is usually too expensive for me.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Despite their name, riot police don't have much of a sense of humor.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 22:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I JUST SAW SOMETHING THAT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. THREE SIMPLE WORDS....... ON NBC ..... "RIVERDANCE ON ICE"..... YOU HAD ME AT RIVER...
←Rate | 02-19-2011 20:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon at the zoo today with all the little kids running around, oh wait a minute its just Walmart.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 20:50 by Drew Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want my angel of the morning to be naughty in evenings.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 19:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, I didn't hear my phone ring. Your profile pic is too loud!
←Rate | 02-19-2011 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing some people can achieve on their own is dandruff.
←Rate | 02-19-2011 18:49 Comments (0)  




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