Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5219 of 6446

If love truly is blind, she probably can't tell the difference between a gold necklace and a chain of paperclips, right?
←Rate |
02-21-2011 09:45 by seddy90
Comments (0)

Brutally honest: The two reasons I would like a girlfriend are 1) consistant sex and 2) not having to find a date to functions such at weddings, couples nights, New Years Eve, etc...
←Rate |
02-21-2011 09:15
Comments (0)

Just lost my job at the funeral, I guess I'm just not a mourning person
←Rate |
02-21-2011 09:00 by SEAN
Comments (0)

Mondays are middle finger approved
←Rate |
02-21-2011 08:57 by hooch
Comments (0)

Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed

Since it's Presidents Day. I would like to honor President John Adams who travelled time and fought Robotic Dinosaurs in the year of our lord 2033.
←Rate |
02-21-2011 08:36 by tbiggums
Comments (0)

wondering why women can't remember to put the toilet seat up after they are finished?
←Rate |
02-21-2011 07:53
Comments (0)

honoring Presidents Day, by enjoying some BUSH !

Happy President's Day! Time to remember all the great leaders this country has had, and how we've disgraced them by putting Obama in office!!
←Rate |
02-21-2011 06:22 by Bill
Comments (0)

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
←Rate |
02-21-2011 06:16
Comments (0)

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. The least you can do is act like it.
←Rate |
02-21-2011 04:14
Comments (0)

1 in 5 relationships now start online. The other 4 will end online.
←Rate |
02-21-2011 01:49 by ~heZz~
Comments (0)

Someone told me I was immature. Well guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore?
←Rate |
02-21-2011 01:00 by hellyea
Comments (0)

hears that Charlie Sheen is giving Lynsay Lohan advice....Hey Charlie...People who live is glass houses usually have pretty cool stuff to snort Coke on!
←Rate |
02-20-2011 22:59 by Vybe
Comments (0)

I recently started to grow a beard, and I gotta tell ya... I feel way cooler already
←Rate |
02-20-2011 22:11 by downey
Comments (0)

fruit of the day: kumquat.
←Rate |
02-20-2011 21:32
Comments (0)

Things were simpler when everything in my life fit perfectly inside my awesome Trapper Keeper.

NASCAR - Non Athletic Sports Centered Around Rednecks
←Rate |
02-20-2011 20:06
Comments (0)

If you're always organizing things, you have OCD. If you're always eating things, you have OBCD.

If you don't like the new photo viewer on Facebook...Hit the F5 key after the picture comes up and it will return you to the old way of viewing the photo and remove the black box around it.
←Rate |
02-20-2011 19:07
Comments (0)