Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 516 of 6383
Sorry I was late. I was trying to explain to my son how an octopus has 8 legs but not 8 feet.
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10-29-2019 09:31
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I went to a gender reveal party yesterday and was immediately told to put my clothes back on...
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10-29-2019 09:00 by Gabe
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When I said, “I would sell a kidney for it”, what made you think I meant mine? Hold still.
Oh, you have anxiety? Name 5 friends who secretly hate you.
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10-29-2019 08:20
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If you have 12 followers on Instagram, you’re unpopular. If you have 12 followers in real life, you’re the messiah.
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10-29-2019 01:23
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Those were not boos. They were alternative cheers.
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10-29-2019 00:19
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When I was a kid I used to have an imaginary friend then as an adult I had thousands of them, until I deleted my Facebook account.
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10-28-2019 21:34
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Have you ever noticed that lOl looks like a man drowning?
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10-28-2019 21:28
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I don’t win marathons because I’m athletic, I win them because I’m driven
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10-28-2019 18:53
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Sometimes it's best to keep things between you and your neighbors. Like a stockade fence.
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10-28-2019 16:45
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There's been a major recall on Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Bring them to my house so I can dispose of them properly.
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10-28-2019 11:23 by DJJackson
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If you got haters . They means you are doing something right . World series
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10-28-2019 09:19
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I'm at the World Series game and they showed Trump on the big screen. All I could hear was boos and "lock him up" chants, lol
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10-27-2019 22:30
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This Jesus is King album by Kanye West is the second worst thing to happen to Jesus.
To the person who corrected my grammar online, I killed you’re whole family
When I drink I don't need a designated driver, I need a designated hide my phone person
Clitoris. They even made a whole movie about it - Finding Nimo
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10-27-2019 14:05
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I bet the creators of The Brady Bunch had no idea how much impact they would have on the porn industry...
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10-27-2019 12:11
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You cant be a Nurse 4 Halloween n have STD's, pick something else, like a Prescription!!
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10-26-2019 17:50
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If at first you don't succeed, well then maybe skydiving isn't for you.
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10-26-2019 14:22
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