Funny Status Messages
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I hate to brag but strangers were spraying me with Lysol before this all started. 
Hormel Foods made their first batch of spam in 1937 With all the food hoarding going on they are about to make their 2nd batch
Sadly, the Coronavirus has better coverage than T-Mobile.
The reporter on CNN said that at the end of the day, the thing that will keep you safe is common sense. Some of you are in serious trouble.
Of course NY has the most cases of Covid-19. It has the most m0r0ns.
If you drive by my house and see my kids picking weeds and crying, keep driving. They're on a field trip. #Quarantined
It's been awhile but I guess now would be a good time to check on my crops and see how they're growing in Farmville.
I cant stand online scammers! And if you and all your friends would like to learn how to avoid them send me $19.95 and I'll tell you how!
I'm much more conscious of my square usage these days.
If it was called a "rebsite" Elmer Fudd would pronounce it correctly.
Apparently, referring to Latex Gloves as "Corona Condoms" at work is frowned upon.
I haven't watched this much TV since the "All Day Saturday Cartoon Marathon" when I was 8.
Parents, Now that you are homeschooling, there is no reason not to put the Bible, the Lord's Prayer, and the Pledge of Allegiance back in the curriculum.
I think this might be a good time to get a pet. Do they have a delivery service for that?
I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.
Oh not seeing enough tests?? I thought people were saying they aren't seeing enough breasts. Either way, I agree.
YOU CANT GROUND ME, THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY DID -Kids
I’m working from home. But as a bartender.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 8 years... Squatters built a meth lab in the barn
Just remembered that it's Halloween and won't be getting any trick-or-treaters this year, which is all good as I might need my fast food condiments to help survive the Coronavirus. 