Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just saw a commercial for the new movie "Hop". I don't think I'll ever look at jellybeans the same way again! ;)

   My plan to impress people with big words has failed egregiously.

   I want to be there when Google takes the street view picture of my address. The possibilities are endless.

   Did you blow Bubbles when you were younger? Well, he's back in town and wants your number.

   visiting all 6.3 million web pages about 'obsessive personality'.

   There's a distinct difference between power walking for fitness and power walking because you have to use the bathroom.

   Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.

   that awkward moment when you realized that thousands of other people actually went to google and typed in "funny facebook status's"

   Excuse me lady in the checkout line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test... How's your day going?

   When is it considered to early to start drinking...cause I think I'm 4 hrs behind!!!

   Has anyone invented a time machine? If so, "when" did I get one?

   Just want to let you all know what the new Google homepage logo is all about. It is to celebrate the 200th birthday of Robert Bunsen who invented the Bunsen burner. So calm down all you local junkies...it is NOT a Meth lab!!!

   Wonders...Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "If you build it, they will come

   A good man is hard to find, or is it the other way around, a hard man is good to find?

   the difference between OooooH & AaaaaaH is About three inches......

   What ever happened to Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll ? All we got left is AIDS, Crack and Techno !

   Picking your nose doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's what you do with the booger.

   Reminder: National Atheist's Day April 1st.......

   Sometimes I think you should put a condom on your head, because if you're gonna act like a d.ck, you might as well dress like one too.

   Thursday 31st March is National Cleavage Day, a day to work it, love it & celebrate it.!! (@)Y(@)