BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Sarcasm : Because beating the s$it out of people is illegal.

   Hollister should offer complimentary gas masks and ear plugs when you walk in the store.

   Mondays are Sunday's poop.

   The 3 worst words to hear right now..."Tomorrow is Monday"

   Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.

   Dont lose the girl of your life, for the hoe of the night.

   What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE.

   It's Friday! Time to mute your conscience and party!

   It's impossible to ruin our friendship with sex. It was ruined the moment you called it a friendship.

   Hey Facebook, I really don't care that somebody commented on a post that I commented on seven days ago.

   No Calls ? I Understand . No Text ? I Understand , But When You See Me With Someone Else Please Understand .

   That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!

   LIKE if you found ½ : ¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼½¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼� �¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼

   Most girls: “I hangout with guys, there's less drama.” Me: “I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants.”

   The first rule of relationships: You don't find out why someone was available until it's too late.

   I sure do feel a hell of alot more attractive at walmart than I do at the gym...

   There's nothing like celebrating America's independence by spending hundreds of dollars on Chinese fireworks.

   I need to go to Walmart but I can't find my pajamas.

   To the people who upload full movies to YouTube: Get a life…also, thank you.

   There are only a few people I can say “You're one of the few friends I enjoy being with more in person than on Facebook.