Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Ladies, if I comment on your fb posts with the haha reaction icon, it probably means I didn't actually find it funny. It's because you're hot.

   It took George W. seven years to tank Clinton's economy. Now, it took Trump three years to tank Obama's economy. Best president ever!

   So Joe Exotic was the first gay man to run for president not Mayor Pete #TigerKing

   Jeez I thought my dating life was bad before the Coronavirus.

   My buddy gave me a Golden Girls DVD for my birthday. I told him, "Thank you for being a friend."

   Yall scared of the virus, i'm scared of the vaccine!

   I'm having a quarintine party this weekend. None of you are invited

   So by always grabbing extra Chipotle napkins along with saving a huge variety of different non-perishable condiments from restaurants over the years make me a prepper?

   I’m proud that my kids can see our current First Lady naked when they google her. So beautiful!

   If prayers doesn't work, then it's all Obama's fault. Fact!

   I loving this calling viruses by races. As long as you leave the whites out of it.

   To the below: Are you saying you want the media to pay everyone's mortgage?

   General Public: We can't pay rent or the mortgage. Media: LOOK!! The orange haired guy said CHINESE VIRUS again!!

   How long are we supposed to do this social distancing thing? My wife keeps trying to get back into the house.

   Rand Paul has been tested positive for Coronavirus. Yes!!!! Thank you lord! Thank you Jesus Christ!

   I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.

   Don't care about nudes, send me a video of you washing your hands

   tested positive for missing my homies

   Have we tried unplugging 2020 waiting 30 seconds and then plugging it back in?

   Before Coronavirus, I used to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.