abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

   It's official I've finally been over notified.

   Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.

   Deleting all emails as they come in without reading them. Like a boss.

   When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that IS the IQ test.

   If it takes you more than an hour to answer a text message I will assume that you're dead.

   Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis.

   It's not really stalking if you don't catch me doing it.

   When people try extra hard to cover the keypad as they enter their pin at the ATM, I always want to whisper, "I saw it" when they're done.

   Just went to the kitchen for water and came back up without it. Now I have to go back to the kitchen.

   Someone needs to uninvent the internet so we can all start getting some stuff done.

   Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

   You know what's amazing? "how I met your mother"

   If I could slow down real life , like the fights scenes on a fighting movie . I would punch people more often .

   People are not mirrors, They see you completely differently than the way you see yourself.

   If you're in a relationship for sex it's like buying an airplane for the peanuts.

   I put my facebook in her twitter then she was youtubing my google and I was going yahoo.

   Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck

   Just saw two people together at a restaurant and neither of them were texting anyone. Weird.

   You know those intense unexplained pains you get sometimes? You deserve those.

   I wish memories were like text messages so we could delete the ones we dont like & keep the special ones forever.