Yaj Funny Status Messages

   wants to put handcuffs on, run into a hardware store in a panic and ask for a hacksaw

   you know you're getting older when your back goes out more than you do

   noticed that ever since Susan Boyle confessed her virginity to the world, the Taliban and Al Qaeda have cut back on suicide bombing, knowing now what lies ahead for them.

   girl, your pants are so tight, I could read your lips!

   doesn't get why everyone blames the craziness on the "full moon".. the moon is ALWAYS there, you just dont see it all the time

   when I smash a bug on the wall or ceiling I like to keep it there as a warning to the others..

   "Vegeterian" is American Indian for 'Bad Hunter'

   ya ever notcie that the most comfortable one can be in bed is always one minute before you have to get up?

   thinks there will be a lot of upset strippers tonight . . . Brazil lost

   is gonna go to a psychiatrists office, sit in the waiting room and just stare at people..

   thinks that the US Soccer team should dress up as oral hygienists to scare the english into forfeiture

   having an out of money experience

   Yo mama's so fat that when she was cremated, half of the flights to Europe were cancelled..

   going to get a tattoo that says "Live Without Regrets", and have it spelled wrong.

   wonders at what point in a proctologists life do they decide, 'When I grow up, I want to be sure everyones a$$ho!e is puckered up and functional!"

   says according to maxipad commercials, all women are full of winshield washer fluid

   riding the escalator the other day, and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half..

   in bed by 9, and home by 11..

   wants to remind all you out there that the proper way to annunciate it is "ValentiNes day" - not valentiMes day

   "Eating habits? You wanna know my eating habits? Well everytime I have to take a sh!t it's an emergency, hows that?"