Smeebert Funny Status Messages

   finding the Christmas spirit, now if only I can find someone who is in the giving mood to pay

   making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions

   Why do we protect movie ticket nerds behind 4inches of glass and a bank teller with only a pen on a chain?

   whoever dies with the most friends on facebook wins

   hates getting texts or calls on my iphone it interrupts my game, don't call me!

   before lady Di, I never heard of Paparazzi.., I thought it was a circus act or something

   I bribed a cop this morning, handed him my drivers license with a doughnut underneath

   Levi Johnston is part native, he just took back his apology to Palin

   Feds are indicting Clemens for perjury, said they knew he was on steriods when they saw his nose grow

   I hate it when someone text me to call them, then when you call they never answer

   making Holy Water by boiling the Hell out of it.

   a certain sign of who will wear the pants suit in your marriage is when the wedding reception has a Vegan menu and a gluten-free cake!