Maureen Funny Status Messages

   My house looks like a tornado sat around all day and watched TV.

   whenever I want to stop an aggressive salesman, I just interrupt his spiel and ask, "Yes, but does it work on cats?"

   Can you smell that? That's fresh-brewed coffee mixed with Friday...delicious!

   just asked my son - where would you be without your mother? His answer: "Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger."

   Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out “Is anyone there?” I've seen the movies...those people always die!

   If at first you don't succeed, do it the way I told you!

   Oh, I'm so sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

   Best part of being a grown-up? You can eat ice cream whenever you want!

   thinks animal testing is a terrible idea; what if they get all nervous and give the wrong answers?

   don't put words in my mouth...my foot is already in there.

   just found out that a "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Apparently, I'm not getting ready in a "jiffy" any more.

   Kia recalls 146,000 US vehicles - there are gonna be a LOT of angry hamsters!

   - since it is the thought that counts...I'll just keep sitting here THINKING about being productive this evening

   enjoys long, romantic walks to my fridge!

   Does anyone know where I can return 10 Lords a Leaping without a gift receipt?

   would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

   would happily join one of these "occupy" movements, if only they were looking to occupy a Dunkin' Donuts.

   too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.

   wants to be Oprah"s secret half sister!

   has come to realize that my job is like an episode of "LOST". Confusing, filled with a lot of interesting characters and just when I think I have it figured out - everything changes.