Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   What people call Pharmaceutical doctors, I call legal drug dealers. Medically certified to kill you. *Ask your doctor if this status is right for you*

   What people call it the presidential debate, I call it the world's most expensive puppet show.

   You know how America votes off contestants on Dancing With The Stars....That would be such a great idea on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

   If Obama was Pepsi and Romney was Coca-Cola, then I would definitely drink water or tea.

   Learning is way more than a test score...

   A man will simply break a woman's heart, but a woman will take a dump in a man's heart and walk away.

   They took cigarette ads of TV because it was bad for our nation's health. Sooo....why can't they do the same for political ads?

   You know what's cheaper than reading a book on a Kindle?......Reading a book.

   In the absence of peace & love, we teach war & hate as an escape from the problems we are too lazy to solve.

   What's so cool about taking a picture of a bathroom mirror?

   If winning was easy, losers would do it.

   Curiousity killed virginity.

   I'll start respecting religion when it starts respecting every human being equally regardless of race, gender, & sexuality.

   If any woman says "I love you" to me for the first time, then I have the right to say "Do you have evidence to support that statement?"

   Great...now everybody is a damn food photographer. Hope this fad dies out quicker than Planking.

   MAN: "Hi. I'm Bond.....James Bond. What's your name?" WOMAN: "Off.....Fu¢k Off."

   You think Zelda would be a lot more "appreciative" of Link for saving her. The boy went through like 7 dungeons & caves, at least give him the sex he deserves.

   Women....why does your purse need a seat of it's own?

   Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?

   When a married couple stops having sex, at first they complain about it...but after awhile y'all get used to it. She walks out of the shower and you don't even look...because you know there is nothing there for you.