Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   umm.. yeah, its may 21st in china already.. why hasnt the apocalypse started yet?

   Tomorrow is the end? Then I call "SHOTGUN"!!

   The term weekend could have a whole new meaning tomorrow.

   Ronald McDonald has to retire because he is making kids fat? Really? So kids are driving themselves to McDonald's now?

   Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.

   Relationships don't need promises, terms, and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people; one who can trust and one who can understand.

   ill make everyone in the world a bet... if we die tomorrow I'll give you a doller, if we live you have to give me a doller. good? okay.

   If the world ends tomorrow. I feel like it was somehow Sarah Palin's fault.

   That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “single” and your ex 'Likes' it.

   Saturdays forcast: doomy with chance of rapture..

   Maybe now is a good time to change my religious views to very religious, just in case.

   Who wants to help me fill blow-up dolls with helium and release them tomorrow?

   attending the Rapture Day on May 21, 2011

   bought a adult size Superman costume, So when the rapture comes he can fly in style!

   I can't say "rural" and its really frustrating

   I wanna buy dolphins and dress 'em in suits so that I can tell my accountant I bought 'em for business porpoises... and we would laugh and laugh.

   I am actually looking forward to the rapture....To all the women who told me "I wouldn't sleep with you unless you were the last man on earth" Look out ladies here I come!

   Zombies don't discriminate against the old or young, both are considered equally tasty.

   would be very surprised if some of my friends were missing tomorrow

   Apparently Facebook will not accept "Macho Man" as my middle name... DISLIKE!