Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4822 of 6446

If you're not ready to die for it, take the word 'freedom' out of your vocabulary. – Malcom X
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06-26-2011 14:36
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do me a favor if someone tells you they don't like me , tell them I don't like them either.
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06-26-2011 13:58
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Mission impossible: Living the champagne lifestyle on beer budget.
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06-26-2011 13:27
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trying to figure out how many Sham-Wows I'm gonna need to soak up all the water in my truck after leaving the window down for 2 days...

I took the pledge and will not text while I am driving because it is dangerous! I may check my email, update my Facebook status, make calls, and add appointments to my calendar, but I will NEVER text while I drive. ;)
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06-26-2011 12:35 by jacksje4
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When two confused strangers come together they call it love, and when they fully know and understand each other, they call it breakup.
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06-26-2011 12:16
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My million dollar idea: "Homework-flavored" dog food.

Having slanted eyes suck! Cant see sh!t when I smile!

Eventhough Mexico won, they still lost. Cause they have to go back to Mexico!

Mexico beat us in soccer. That is bs! The government should start mass deportations asap.
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06-26-2011 10:38
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I bet the origin to the phrase, "When the sh!t hits the fan," is one heck of a story.

Pshhhh I did not fall… The floor looked at me funny so I used my mad ninja skills to attack
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06-26-2011 08:52
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I've never seen Scarface, but I have quoted the "little friend" line at some really inappropriate times.

When someone tells me smoking is harmful, I throw my cigarette down and say "Serious? There, I've just quit! Quick let's go warn the others!

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
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06-26-2011 08:00
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If you have something to say raise your hand, and put it over your mouth.
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06-26-2011 05:54
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A beer lover is born with a beer compass within. He always knows where to find it!

what do you call a Chinese man with a camera?....... Phil Ming
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06-26-2011 04:03
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What do you call a group of chickens? A bucket
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06-26-2011 02:44
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i do not always use internet explorer but when I do, its to download a new web browser
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06-26-2011 02:25
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