bego Funny Status Messages

   Does your a** never get jealous of the s**t that comes out of your mouth?

   If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material.

   My Mothers MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it.

   That moment you realise you're a result of sex.

   Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

   We can talk to astronauts in space, but we can't get phone reception inside elevators.

   Thank God It's Monday" ~ Your Liver

   Dudes in skinny jeans...there's no need for sex if you're already in her pants...

   Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Love is gained and Loyalty is returned.

   Screw love? No, screw the person who made you think that way.

   Wait, don't eat yet! Let me take a picture of it at an artsy angle, add Instagram effects, and upload it to Facebook!

   When you find it hard to keep a girl, find a girl that keeps it hard.

   Hey people who like to start conversations with complete strangers, knock that s$it off.

   After I die, I want someone to periodically log in as me so it looks like I'm haunting Facebook.

   Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status.

   I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds, but then I got a Facebook Account and now I'm over it.

   Dear Ex, remember those I love you more fights? I won.

   I had so much coffee I made it to work in under 4 minutes but I forgot to bring my car!

   Hey, I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys, chase douchebags, and then complain about it

   Got a problem with me? I'm pretty sure a status on Facebook won't fix it.