BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Dad: A bird told me you are doing drugs... Boy: You're talking with birds and I'm the one doing drugs?!

   Teacher: Get out a sheet of paper. Student: LOOK AT ME NOW! Teacher: Excuse me? Student: I'm GETTIN' PAPERRRR!

   Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

   Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate.

   Santa has elves. America has China.

   We have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.

   No matter how old I get, I think mooning people will always be hilarious.

   My phone dies faster than Chris Brown on stomp the yard.

   Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my whole message.

   What the hell is up with "Fun sized" candy? There is nothing fun about less candy.

   True irony: Getting a girl pregnant on a pull out couch.

   Weed is Illegal” “Yeah, so is the music in your iPod.

   Why is YOLO popular all of a sudden? Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we lived twice?

   It's so hot outside, I bet Jehovah's Witnesses are going to start telemarketing.

   If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.

   Every week almost 30 people die from FDA approved drugs while Marijuana remains illegal with 0 deaths.

   So I made up a new word: Ask-hole; someone who constantly asks for your advise then does the opposite of what you told them.

   Music becomes my best friend when nobody else understands me.

   Today I sent out a text saying, “Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?” 12 people called me…I need damn smarter friends.

   Say Hello to my little friend (҂`_´) < ,︻╦̵̵̿╤─ ҉ ~~~ • • • \