Funny Status Messages

   This is what I hate the most. Every single morning for the next four years I, along with hundreds of millions of people around the world, have to wake up fingers crossed to see if he's dead yet.

   I'm not clutching pearls. But I did drop a few pearls on your wife's cleavage.

   My favourite stories are reading about the ones who voted for him whose lives are being destroyed right now. Now that's comedy!

   He didn't survive an assassination. It was a blood packet. Special effects. It was a complete set up. This is obvious.

   A cult is an unpopular religion. A religion, is a popular cult. It's a cult. You're a cult member.

   Egg prices are dropping. It turns out that if you stop killing chickens, they lay more eggs.

   Can't wait for the next in the occasional series of idiocy from the pearl clutching asshole who can't get over his candidate losing the election.

   A cult doesn't have 77 Million People. That's a revolution. A cult has a few thousand people with blue hair and random pronouns.

   Your country is toast.

   I just killed a huge mouse. Ripped it to bits. The staff at Disneyland are furious.

   Cats are nice

   I just heard that a cold shower eases depression. I was fine with it... until I looked down.

   The Dow Jones: where your nest egg goes to get scrambled."

   He doesn't know how to drive. He doesn't know how to pump gas. He doesn't know how to buy groceries. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's lived in a gold, chauffeured bubble his entire life. And so many of you think he's great LMFAO

   He doesn't know how to drive. He doesn't know how to pump gas. He doesn't know how to buy groceries. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's lived in a gold, chauffeured bubble his entire life. So many of you think he's great LMFAO

   For the first time ever in CNN's polling, a majority disapprove of Trump on the economy. And it's a clear majority: 56%. It's begun.

   DOGE claims to have found mountains of fraud, yet NO ONE has been indicted for the crime of fraud. It's almost like Elon is 100% full of s

   'Sleepy Joe' oversaw the biggest stock and job gains in US history while 'the business genius' crashed it all in 45 days.

   Aint no hate like Christian love.

   STOCK MARKETS ARE CRASHING, JOBS NUMBERS ARE TERRIBLE, WE ARE HEADING TO WORLD WAR III, AND WE HAVE TWO OF THE MOST INCOMPETENT "LEADERS" IN HISTORY. THIS IS NOT GOOD!!! Donald Trump Aug 05, 2023