Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4503 of 6427

never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted

R.I.P Nobel Laureate Prof. Wangari Maathai....
←Rate |
09-26-2011 03:39 by Kelly
Comments (0)

Just watched 'Pan Am" ….. Now there's an example where the union seniority killed the industry, all those lovely stewardesses are now old flight attendants
←Rate |
09-26-2011 02:11 by smeebert
Comments (0)

Looking at a hot woman and thinking, ‘The things I would do to you.'
←Rate |
09-26-2011 02:08
Comments (0)

The rap song "Walk It Out" was inspired by a guy who was consoling his girlfriend after a hardcore night of rough sex.

to the ppl thinknig facebook is really charging...send your payments to: (my name), Po box...
←Rate |
09-26-2011 01:24 by Eddy
Comments (0)

redneck word:debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
←Rate |
09-26-2011 01:23 by Eddy
Comments (0)

On September 31st, 2011 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, use a PERMANENT marker pen and write on your forehead the word S-U-C-K-E-R, and then stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all the
←Rate |
09-25-2011 23:37 by Eric Ross
Comments (0)

too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.
←Rate |
09-25-2011 22:49 by Maureen
Comments (0)

some people walk into you life and leave footprints on your heart, others make you want to leave footprints on their faces.
←Rate |
09-25-2011 22:16
Comments (0)

I see a lot of stuff on something called Nibiru, A lot are asking many questions about this "wandering brown dwarf star" Put your freakin ouija boards away and leave Gary Coleman alone, show some respect.....
←Rate |
09-25-2011 22:16
Comments (0)

The bible say, "thou shalt love thy neighbor" which means, take your password off your wifi!!
←Rate |
09-25-2011 22:15 by PlayBoi
Comments (0)

Ok, so now the NFL is posting on NBC at the bottom of the screen "Futbol Americano", is this serious? Did we just fleece all of American culture?
←Rate |
09-25-2011 21:52 by Flyguybry
Comments (0)

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backward? He keeps coming and coming and coming.

On September 31st 2011 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all while singing ”I Will Survive”. Then, and only then, will Mark Zuckerberg come down y
←Rate |
09-25-2011 20:43 by Rudy M
Comments (0)

Saw a homeless woman with a sign that said, "Mother of two. Please help." So I gave her some condoms.

How did I get out of Iraq? Iran. (-;
←Rate |
09-25-2011 19:54 by yayay
Comments (0)

whats the difference between mike vick and a dollar bill....you can get 4 quarters out of a dolla
←Rate |
09-25-2011 19:26
Comments (0)

why do they say that you can't buy friends?! I haven't had a problem with that! It's keeping them after I am broke ...that is the problem!!
←Rate |
09-25-2011 19:12 by Dani
Comments (0)

Just ordered a chicken and an egg off of amazon to see which comes first. I'll keep you posted
←Rate |
09-25-2011 19:04
Comments (0)