Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted
←Rate | 09-26-2011 05:10 by Brian_Allen Comments (0)  


   messageicon R.I.P Nobel Laureate Prof. Wangari Maathai....
←Rate | 09-26-2011 03:39 by Kelly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched 'Pan Am" ….. Now there's an example where the union seniority killed the industry, all those lovely stewardesses are now old flight attendants
←Rate | 09-26-2011 02:11 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking at a hot woman and thinking, ‘The things I would do to you.'
←Rate | 09-26-2011 02:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The rap song "Walk It Out" was inspired by a guy who was consoling his girlfriend after a hardcore night of rough sex.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 02:02 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon to the ppl thinknig facebook is really charging...send your payments to: (my name), Po box...
←Rate | 09-26-2011 01:24 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon redneck word:debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
←Rate | 09-26-2011 01:23 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon On September 31st, 2011 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, use a PERMANENT marker pen and write on your forehead the word S-U-C-K-E-R, and then stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all the
←Rate | 09-25-2011 23:37 by Eric Ross Comments (0)  


   messageicon too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 22:49 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon some people walk into you life and leave footprints on your heart, others make you want to leave footprints on their faces.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 22:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see a lot of stuff on something called Nibiru, A lot are asking many questions about this "wandering brown dwarf star" Put your freakin ouija boards away and leave Gary Coleman alone, show some respect.....
←Rate | 09-25-2011 22:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bible say, "thou shalt love thy neighbor" which means, take your password off your wifi!!
←Rate | 09-25-2011 22:15 by PlayBoi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, so now the NFL is posting on NBC at the bottom of the screen "Futbol Americano", is this serious? Did we just fleece all of American culture?
←Rate | 09-25-2011 21:52 by Flyguybry Comments (0)  


   messageicon What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backward? He keeps coming and coming and coming.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 21:34 by Someone Who Presses 1 For English Comments (0)  


   messageicon On September 31st 2011 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all while singing ”I Will Survive”. Then, and only then, will Mark Zuckerberg come down y
←Rate | 09-25-2011 20:43 by Rudy M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a homeless woman with a sign that said, "Mother of two. Please help." So I gave her some condoms.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 20:34 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did I get out of Iraq? Iran. (-;
←Rate | 09-25-2011 19:54 by yayay Comments (0)  


   messageicon whats the difference between mike vick and a dollar bill....you can get 4 quarters out of a dolla
←Rate | 09-25-2011 19:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why do they say that you can't buy friends?! I haven't had a problem with that! It's keeping them after I am broke ...that is the problem!!
←Rate | 09-25-2011 19:12 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just ordered a chicken and an egg off of amazon to see which comes first. I'll keep you posted
←Rate | 09-25-2011 19:04 Comments (0)  




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