Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   "Police! Open the door!" ... "Will you promise not to get mad?"

   Sometimes when I cut my toenails, I leave them all over the floor just in case ants need to use them as swords when they are at war.

   I don't have a drinking problem. I have a stopping problem.

   Seeking other people's approval is disapproving yourself.

   Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it.

   Tomorrow is 11/11/11. This day only comes once every 100 years so go out there and do something crazy and make it memorable.

   Ladies: Trust me, nice guys are all around you, it's just that the a$$holes are blockin your view.

   Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? If you want to know the answer, order both off the menu and see which one comes first.

   Ladies; Your eyebrows will either make you or break you.

   Serendipity - When an empty glass and a bottle of booze cross paths.

   Be comfortable in your own skin, only serial killers are comfortable in other people's skin.